Fatherly Grace

Summer is often a time for our staff to recharge and prepare our hearts and minds for the upcoming year of ministry. As I’ve entered into this season—post end-of-year celebrations and pre-summer events—I’ve been reflecting a lot on the past year. Two themes keep standing out to me in particular, at least in terms of what I’ve been learning and processing: fatherhood and the profound reality of God’s grace and the Gospel. You might already see the connection. So much of this year has been about those two ideas intertwining and interacting in both my mind and my ministry.

I’ve struggled to accept God’s grace since I was young. There’s always been something in me that finds it hard to believe that when God forgives me, He still likes me afterward. I see this struggle reflected all the time in the students I minister to.

One student comes to mind. He grew up in a Christian home and, for the most part, has always been a “good kid.” He’s been a solid part of our community. But one week, I noticed something was off. It continued for a while, so I asked him about it. After some hesitation and beating around the bush, he finally confessed that he had fallen into what he described as the worst sin of his life—something far beyond anything he’d ever done before. He was shocked at himself and, more than that, deeply ashamed. Even though he knew theologically that God would forgive him, he felt he couldn’t even talk to God anymore. The real issue wasn’t whether God could forgive him; it was whether God would still want to talk to him.

One of the many blessings of becoming a parent has been the perspective it’s given me on God’s love and grace. I now understand in a deeper, more visceral way how I think God feels about us when we fall into things like this student. When Elias, my son, does something like hit one of us out of anger, I know how frustrating it is. I strongly dislike that action. And yet, even in that exact moment, I love him so deeply. Even though it doesn’t excuse his behavior, I can often understand what led him to it. And even while I discipline him, I do it from a place of love—not retribution. These were concepts I understood before becoming a parent, but now I feel them in a new, more profound way—because I’m the one responsible for raising this child.

So now, when I look at that student I mentioned, I can attempt to explain not only how deeply our sin grieves the Lord, but also how deeply—even in the midst of that grief—He loves us. I can speak to this not just from a theological standpoint, but also from lived experience.

I'm praying that I continue to learn this lesson more deeply as I age. And I’m so thankful that the Lord has given me the opportunity. I'd love to hear what you have been learning in your walk with the Lord as well!